Today is a holiday celebrating freedom. It’s easy to get lost in the unfair and un-free conditions of the outside world, and neglect our own internal liberation.
When we are enslaved by our mental and emotional reactions to events around us, we can’t experience free will.
I should know, I’ve been gloomy and stressed out for a while. Challenging and traumatic work situations--and other significant opportunities for untangling the bonds of my self-imprisonment--find me in an extended contraction. I’m thankful, even in my discomfort. I know that rebirth awaits, if only I take the time and attention to study what makes me suffer.
What makes me suffer is always the same thing: fear.
As I’ve relaxed over the long weekend, fear has hijacked my experience. Even as I practice much needed self-care, dread overwhelms me in anticipation of another crisis call. This anticipation artificially causes me to experience the very thing I dread, even though it isn't happening. Dread chases me out of this actual moment. It’s a powerful and negative day dream.
It’s not the crisis calls. It’s never the crises, not even the custom-made ones of my own creation. Crises are the perfect framework to examine the functioning, and that’s where I discover old, stinky reactions of fear.
Discovery is the first step towards recovery. Ugh, that is a cringy statement, but accurate. Awareness brings liberation. A bad dream cannot withstand the truth of this one complete moment. When I fully occupy this moment, all is well—even if unpleasant events happen in it.
I’ve tussled with fear enough to know that waging war against it isn’t effective. Hostility stimulates more of the same.
Examining fear in all its gory glory is the practice of courage. It’s scary to look at what we fear. We engage in all kinds of unhealthy, counter-productive, uninspiring activities to avoid the mess. We tolerate unacceptable conditions, settle for less. We avoid our dreams and inspiration. We live lives of mediocrity. And fear subjugates us to a bad dream.
Contraction promises the gift of re-birth. Within our self-enslavement is the option of freedom, through self-study. It’s an opportunity to practice opening by examining what closes and why. It's an opportunity to practice this moment, with courage.
For this process to be most effective, we must approach our effort with patience, and without judgement. An open mind and heart support the process. We developed these poor coping mechanisms for good reasons, but they no longer serve us.
This moment serves us. There's no other time to be free.
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