"You may create an agonizing relationship breakup or patterns of relationship challenges. You may create a financial crisis. You may create a mess at your job. You may create drama of every conceivable nature. You may create a life that feels dissatisfying and meaningless. You may create a situation where you are left angry, hurt, confused, resentful, reeling in more pain and agitation than you could have imagined. You will suffer. You will create a custom-made crisis. And you can experience the gift of a contraction.
I hear you saying, ‘But there are many crises that are beyond my control!’ Of course. That goes with the territory of life on planet earth. But if you think you are a helpless victim in the themes of your life, well you would be right. You are helpless if you are unconscious. You unconsciously set up painful situations which can guide you to wellness if you pay focused attention to what happened, how and why.”
I wrote those words towards the end of a custom-made crisis of my own making. It can take a while to process the situation, once I recognize I’m in it. And it may take a while to recognize I'm in it. I must stew and I must suffer. I must be tender-hearted and mopey. I must go to dark and disgusting places, where fear runs amok, choking any hope of peace out of me. Eventually, I let wisdom remind me like a fresh and gentle breeze: this contraction is a blessing.
The crisis is a valuable opportunity to examine negative thoughts, beliefs, and subconscious confusion, and heal myself in the process. If one is brave enough to take advantage of it.
To open, you must examine what closes. To be liberated, you must examine what enslaves. What closes and enslaves is fear, and it’s the very same fear that has created the crisis. These crises are perfect specimens to study because they are manifestations of your bleakest, deepest, most dysfunctional fears.
Dive into your pain. Examine the crisis and the confusion that brought you there. Put it under the microscope of your attention. Everything you need to learn about yourself for healing is laid out in grim clarity if you are brave enough to look. Grab some paper or your laptop and write / right it out. Your hands are a direct link to the highest, wisest, bravest Self.
One night after a long, protracted crisis and many journal pages already written, I decided to get to the bottom of my painful relationship patterns. I was afraid to look at what awful secret was at the root, but determined. I took a shot of liquor. And another. And I smoked some pot. And then I wrote eight solid pages that eventually exposed the problem: I mistakenly believed I was not enough. Once I discovered that misguided, impossible notion, it was neutralized. To unravel the knots of a lifetime, you must repeat the process ad nauseum. If you are cleaning out a hoarder’s home, you must make many trips to the dumpster.
Sit quietly and pray to your own Self for guidance, courage, and knowledge. Ask the Self for the answers, and you may even have to ask for the questions. Then listen. The Self has sat by serenely, witnessing every moment and every mess. It knows everything about you and It's available to work in partnership to create a life of your dreams.
Be fearless. It’s fear that got you into this predicament, and it's courage that will lead you out.
The contraction of a crisis is a gift for re-birth.
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you,” Rumi said.
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