Had an intense day. Interfaced with many people in concentrated ways and addressed many situations, all day long.
Came home over-stimulated, attention and energy were bouncing off in all directions. On such occasions, I give yin yoga a try. It’s a slow, deep practice in which a few poses are held for a long period of time. Haven’t done it often, yet every time I do, I’m impressed.
A lot of times, yogis unwittingly believe that it is “bad” to use a prop—like they failed, or were weak, or didn’t try enough. There is judgement. There is internal competition against our own selves, to be strong, independent, proficient.
But yoga is about calming down the nervous system. It’s about examining the internal experience of the body, mind, and emotions. It’s about relaxing what needs to release, and engaging what needs to be supported, and learning how to recognize the difference.
When I was holding a yin position for a long time, I didn’t “need” a prop. The pose itself was manageable. But when I placed a folded blanket under both legs, barely touching but available for support, the pose improved dramatically. I had been trying to open my tight hips, inner thighs, and groin muscles. Without the props I was inadvertently still holding on for safety—the tightness of the stretch created fear. The effort of opening was compromised by the protective response of closing. The props were a great help. The muscles could release and relax, knowing there was support available if needed. The nerves got to simmer down and allow the pose to unfold more fully, comfortably, and safely.
Yoga is a metaphor for life. Everything learned on the mat translates perfectly to the life experience.
To fully open to this moment (the only one that exists) and to our true natures, we can assess what we need to release and soften—like resistance, worry, judgement, complaining, rushing. We can assess what needs to be engaged, supported, encouraged—like courage, kindness, honesty, hydration, and deep breaths.
To be our best selves off the mat, supportive mental props are needed. When we push ourselves to try new things, take risks, practice discipline, we are supported with gratitude, patience, and encouragement. The more we practice trying, the more likely we are to experience success. And failure. And mistakes.
I think of a balancing pose. Balance can only improve by falling out of it and returning to the pose, over and over. By so doing, we learn the skills to stay up even when we’re unsteady. It makes no sense to be frustrated for falling, when it is the falling that teaches balance.
When we are harsh with ourselves, engage in negative self-talk, or beat ourselves up for perceived failings, we must prop ourselves up with encouragement. We must recognize the value of trying and practicing. We must remember that everything we learned in life, from walking to talking to everything else, was learned through mistakes and failure. We must treat ourselves kindly, respectfully, and patiently.
If we ‘fail,” fall off the wagon, make less desired choices, we must allow that. How would it makes sense to do otherwise? It helps to be grateful for trying. Be grateful for the inspiration to try, for that is a powerful gift.
It helps to remember we are practicing. Practicing courage, practicing discipline, practicing new choices, practicing new moments.
We are practicing being our best selves. We must support the process by treating ourselves as such.
"You are but a soul, propping up a corpse." Marcus Aurelius
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