The yoga work out was a rough one. I’d been sick in bed for a week, eating comfort foods and binge streaming. One of life’s great ironies: I had just given up media ten days earlier, as a New Year’s resolution.
I hadn’t done my hour of power yoga in weeks, but I was finally feeling good enough to try. I was determined and dreading, as usual. So, I bargained: I can do this, but only if I do it comfortably and safely. I can take breaks, modify and skip poses, and only do only what I can. And I can choose to quit at any time, if need or desire be.
It wasn’t long before I realized I was pushing too hard. I was holding poses deeper and longer than I could, and wound up shaky, frustrated, and—perish the thought—insulting myself with thought flashes of "weak", "inadequate", etc. I had to remind myself of the deal I made at the get-go: adjust to my current capacity, not to the capacity of three-weeks-ago me.
I softened my approach. I gave myself permission to relax, just try my best and no more, allow the poses to be what they are today. By observing my negativity, it was neutralized. I was able to shift to a kinder, gentler, and more respectful approach to my body, mind, and emotions (Ahimsa is the word for kindness and non-violence, in Sanskrit).
With this softening, the poses became easier. There was no force, no violence, no self-abuse, no judgement. Breathing and stretching, the body responded with strength and flexibility. And it rested when it needed to. With nothing constricting it, the body blossomed. If I hadn’t forced myself off the couch after a long day at work, I would have missed this lesson about self-harm.
Engaging discipline is the perfect mechanism to journey inward. It is the microscope through which to examine the quality of our internal experience—which is the only actual experience. And if we follow our inspiration, we are drawn to the perfect choice of activity to practice.
The lessons learned through discipline transfer easily off the mat, or off whatever activity we try. Through discipline, we see how we treat ourselves and practice adjusting to a more supportive, beneficial approach. We observe how our thoughts and emotions respond in the "discomfort zone." We gain self-knowledge and exert self-control. We practice awareness. We practice fear and courage. And we practice choices: quit or continue; start or opt out; try or avoid risk. There is freedom in trying, freedom in discipline.
Through the lens of discipline, we see what's blocking us from living our best lives, and free ourselves from those obstacles. We practice our best authentic selves: gentle, encouraging, and kind. Above all, we are grateful and thank ourselves for the blessing of trying.
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