Or "Another One About Fear"
“Fear is a reaction, courage is a choice,” said Winston Churchill, as read by me on the back of someone’s tee shirt in line at the supermarket.
I’m contemplating this sentiment, as I recuperate from the frenzy of the election cycle, which lasted entirely too long. And contemplating many other sentiments.
I think we Americans were played, and big money (powerful, greedy forces) won. Big money generally wins that game. The fear mongering was over the top, because that’s a major feature of the game. Twenty-four/seven media only exaggerates it to infinity. And now one side crows about the win, and the other cries and wrings their hands. Just like last time, and like every other election as the political pendulum swings back and forth. Hopefully.
I love my political team, and have been avidly watching the drama. But I made a deal with myself: if it upsets me, I’m not allowed to look. I can only engage in media with a playful curiosity. It’s not that serious—certainly not as serious as living my short and sweet life contracted by fear, disrupted by someone else’s words, images, ideas which are not helpful and generally not true or accurate.
My team lost, and I’m bummed. But I’m not scared. I’ve been managing fear for too long to let a pesky little election throw me into an emotional crisis. I’d rather practice courage than default to fear, no matter what the consequences of the election may be. If there is suffering ahead, I’ll suffer it then. If action seems required, I'll act then.
For now, I’d rather accept the loss than make general, negative, and unkind assumptions about the country and it's people that voted for the other team. Hatred towards others only fuels a game I refuse to play. And worse, when I'm contracted in fear, I'm powerless, confused, ignorant, vulnerable and disconnected from my full self.
I strive to play my own game, a game in which I navigate the world openly, easily, courageously, curiously, kindly, playfully, authentically, and freely. It takes practice to play this game well, so practice and play become one and the same.
The quality of my life (which is only the quality of this moment) is far too important to yield my well-being to any entity beyond my skin. I alone am responsible for my state. I alone control myself and thankfully little else. I alone am the Supreme Being of my personal universe of experience. And I’ll protect my full sovereignty or die trying. About that, I’m dead serious.
If it wasn’t the fear and worry of an election, it would be the fear and worry of infinite other things. Fear is a chance to observe my bondage and release it when I can and sit with it when I can’t. Witnessing fear is a powerful practice in courage, because it reminds me I can withstand it.
There is nothing freer than a moment in which there is nothing to do, nothing to think, nothing not to think, nothing to change, nothing to fix, nothing to say, nothing to which to react. That moment is always an option.
We can own ourselves, own the moment, own the experience. We can play our own game.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” Anais Nin
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