Sometimes it seems like I’m haunted by my inspiration. Nagging thoughts of “I need to do more of _____ “ (fill in the blank: healthy eating, walking, yoga, meditating, etc); “I need to do less of _____ (media, sugar, etc); “I wish I behaved more like ____;”and so on. Along with these inclinations comes regret and self-incrimination, for weakness, laziness, and various self-persecutions. So much “should-ing” on myself, til I’m buried in “should.”
But when I sit quietly and contemplate the matter (or contemplate anything, really), the same wise realization reveals itself like a pardon to a prisoner: Return to this moment.
This instruction has been granted constantly, forcefully, and lovingly over the decades, and it never fails to refresh, heal, and emancipate me from confusion.
We're only responsible for this moment. We can only make choices in this moment. We can only occupy this moment. While we can’t control this moment, we may be able to control ourselves in it--and that's the path to self-mastery. Self-mastery is impossible when we're stumbling around in past & future, loaded down with stories.
It's easier to function one moment at a time. We can release any sense of responsibility for the past. We can forgive ourselves for past choices, because that moment, those circumstances, and that person don’t exist. And we can trust that the future will take care of itself, as we'll be better prepared whatever comes.
By relieving ourselves of the negative, unnecessary, and constricting burden of “big picture” stories of past and future, we are better equipped to improve current circumstances. In a simple, actual moment, we may find the courage to try something different, take a risk, offer kindness (inside and out), or even sit quietly and be. In this simple, sweet, and complete moment, we may be able to control our reactivity and thereby control the only possible thing: ourselves.
There is only one time and place to discover liberation, and that is now and inside.
The quality of life is determined only by the quality of this moment. It's the only moment that is. And it offers a chance to practice how we’re doing, bit by little bit.
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