Some people say that the only antidote to fear is love. That doesn’t make sense to me. The Bible says that Jesus commanded his disciples to love one another. If that is accessible and easy, why is it so challenging for many of his disciples? If love is such an effective cure for fear, why does fear generally seem to kick love's ass?
For example, I have experienced fear around money. It would grip me hard. It would sour my existence. I would be grouchy, tortured with fear. Paying the monthly bills would bring on a darkness. If an unplanned expense arose, I would suffer. I clung to that self-induced stress, with the misunderstanding that this stress was part of the responsibility of caring for my family. If I wasn’t worried, I wasn’t doing my job. I wasn’t being responsible. And my beloved family would suffer during those times, cower when Mama was in that mood. I would be angry, impatient, annoyed. Wisdom told me that fearful contraction didn’t help, but I was helpless. Fear had me and love didn’t stand a chance.
For another example, I have “loved” a man deeply, but fear turned the whole thing into an awful situation. I clung. I resisted. I settled. I suffered. I was left convinced that I didn’t understand what the word love meant. As time passes, my understanding expands along with a sense of freedom.
Ignorance of the self is a fearful state, with judgement, expectation, resistance, greed, and all other forms of life contraction. In a fearful state, it is not possible to love or even accept myself. How could I possibly love others, from such a disadvantaged position?
Therefore, I’ve come to conclude that the most effective antidote to fear is self-knowledge. As Francis Bacon wrote in 1597, “nam et ipsa scientia potent est.” Translated: “For knowledge itself is power.” I’ll take it a step further: knowledge of the self is self-power. Self-power needs no filters, falsehoods, fears. Self-knowledge has the added bonus of bringing self-control, self-mastery, and self-realization. And maybe something else....
In practicing each moment, I have come to observe that the absence of fear brings gratitude, ease, and something I would call love. I walk this world alone—as everyone must, regardless of the people around them. And when I'm fully open in a moment, I feel myself enveloped in love. It’s love for my life, for the moment, and for every person and situation that enters it. Why would I resist the reality of the moment when self-study has shown me open, and all its benefits? My guard is down. My shell has crumbled. I have surrendered to easy. But I can only surrender in a moment because the next moment may bring a life challenge, another opportunity to practice.
The process of self-study shows me over and over what fear is and what love isn’t. When I open my heart and mind in a moment, I find myself free of limiting and contracting ideas about myself and the universe. In that space, I’m simply being. Life is easy and interesting, entertaining and gratitude-inducing. It feels like the natural state, the default setting, home. It’s love, by any name.
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