Try, Try Again

When we try to change our habits, take risks to attempt new things, exert discipline in our lives, we gain an opportunity to see ourselves in a new light. We get to study our strengths, our fears, and our dreams in clear focus. We get to study ourselves.

We have accumulated negative, restrictive, and inaccurate beliefs about ourselves and the world. Trying new ways of being is enlightening and instructive. Practicing new things and taking small risks is the process of growing, learning, unlearning, and expanding the life experience.

Failure is a powerful teacher.

To that end, It’s important to examine the negativity that comes up when we don’t succeed in our goal attempts. The force of habit is powerful, and trying to break habits and make behavioral changes is a challenge. When we feel awful about our “failures,” and engage in damaging self-talk, it is a chance to observe up-close-and-personal the negativity that constricts our lives.

Beating ourselves up detracts from any lessons learned, if we don’t examine it. Trying, taking risks, and playing with discipline requires courage. It also requires courage to evaluate the important information gained, including any negative internal responses (embarrassment, “loser” talk, etc). To move past self-harm, self-imposed limitations, and fear-based negativity, we must study them.

If we try and don’t succeed, then berate ourselves without self-examination and interest, we are less inclined to try again. Trying again becomes a drudgery, a thing to be resisted and avoided. Who wants to try, when the “reward” is an emotional bruising? And yet, everything we have ever tried, failed, and practiced has led to success. The success may simply and monumentally be overcoming fear.

I was thinking about this the other night, when I was having trouble holding a balance pose. I became frustrated and soon recognized that I was blaming myself for weakness, lack of focus, not enough practice, etc. I quickly remembered that it is the act of falling out of a balance pose, repeatedly, that improves balance. It’s like we must practice falling (or failing) in order to learn balance (and success).

It’s helpful to thank ourselves for trying, regardless of the outcome. In fact, yoga stresses that outcomes and results are not important. When trying, it is helpful to acknowledge the source of our inspiration, our dreams, our goals--which may be our own wisest selves.

Honor that entity by continuing to try, with kindness, encouragement, and curiosity.